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So.... What are you trying to say?

Updated: Nov 10, 2020

As a therapist, I often find myself sitting across from a person with a suspicious facial expression and bold font question marks in their tone as they carefully respond to the questions I ask. What is unspoken but blatantly obvious to me, is their desire to understand the intent behind my line of questioning and the direction in which they suspect I'm trying to lead them. In short, their tone and body language communicate some version of "What are you trying to say?", "Where are you going with this?" or "What do you think you know about me?" I don't take offense. It stands to reason that it would be a bit unsettling to have a stranger probe into the intimate space inside your mind, or into those experiences that you'd rather not discuss. It makes perfect sense that you'd rather not be caught off guard and that you want to be prepared for an attack. But........... sometimes questions are just meant to help gather help the questioner to better understand your experience.

Let's say you're lost deep in the thick of the woods and you've tried and tried to get yourself out, but you can't find your way. You've exhausted all of your energy and you're no longer able to think clearly. You're afraid and unsure of how long you can keep wandering. So........ you need help finding your way back and you call for help. In order for the helper to effectively assist, they need to be able to find you. The helper isn't concerned with how you got there, or what you were thinking that led you there. The helper needs information that will allow them to meet you where you are, so that the two of you can work your way out of the darkness and back onto the lighted pathway to a safer place.

As a counselor, I'm able to be most effective when I am able to understand YOUR you feel....and how you see things. I need to understand where you are before I can help you to get to the desired destination.

The idea of "telling all of your business" to a stranger is scary. It goes against what many of us have been taught in our upbringing. It feels uncomfortable and counterintuitive. But when we find ourselves in an unfamiliar place in life, and what usually works for us is no longer effective, maybe it's time to try something new.

Let's practice! Schedule your first appointment now via the client portal, on my website at . Select the next available date and time. I look forward to meeting you in the woods! I'm the one with the flashlight.

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